- Vaseline
A well-dressed man comes up to the front porch of the farmhouse with a clipboard. He knocks on the door which is answered by a middle-aged man, who says: "Mornin' stranger, what can I do for ya?"
- "Well, sir, I represent Schneller and Holtz. We're paid by private companies to canvas thousands of consumers like yourself for feedback on their products. Today we're soliciting comments on petroleum jelly. Would you answer a couple of questions?"
- "I don't see how a couple of questions could hurt. Fire away young man," says the homeowner.
- Looking down at his clipboard, the survey-taker asks, "First, do you use Vaseline?"
- "Yes sir, for as long as I can remember."
- "Great, now what exactly do you use it for?" replies the survey-taker with his pen poised over his clipboard, ready to record the answer.
- "Let's see. We use it for dry skin, chapped lips, and sex."
- The man stops writing abruptly. He looks around, leans forward and in a low voice says "We pride ourselves in being very thorough, sir. I know how you'd use Vaseline for dry skin and chapped lips, but would you mind telling me how you use it for sex?"
- "No problem," the homeowner whispers back. "We put it on our bedroom doorknob. It keeps the kids out.
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