- Watch out for the following common computer viruses:
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- MONICA LEWINSKY VIRUS
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- Sucks all the memory out of your computer
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- TITANIC VIRUS
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- Makes your whole computer go down
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- DISNEY VIRUS
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- Everything in the computer goes Goofy
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- MIKE TYSON VIRUS
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- Quits after one byte
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- PROZAC VIRUS
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- Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
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- SHARON STONE VIRUS
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- Makes a huge initial impact then you forget it's there
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- LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
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- Turns your hard disk into a 3.5inch floppy
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- WOODY ALLEN VIRUS
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- Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card
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- SADDAM HUSSEIN VIRUS
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- Won't let you into any of your programs
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- TONYA HARDING VIRUS
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- Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
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- X-FILES VIRUS
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- All your Icons start shape shifting
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- SPICE GIRL VIRUS
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- Has no real function but makes a pretty desktop
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- RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
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- Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
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- OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
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- Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB
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- AT&T VIRUS
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- Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting
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- BT VIRUS
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- Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus
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- ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
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- Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back
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